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Does the open relationship mean threesomes only? Is each partner allowed to do their own thing? What about bringing home a one night stand? When you go out to a bar or to a party is one person allowed to cruise in front of the other, or should the meeting up for sex be done in private? How do you ensure that your partner is practicing safer sex? Are you going to insist he gets tested every months? Finally I was puzzled about your comment that it was not fair to your partner who is younger to be faithful to you.
I have talked to lots of horny younger gay guys who expect monogamy in a relationship. If you really were not crazy about the idea then you probably should have stated it right up front. If you are still uncomfortable with the idea of an open relationship, then say so and expect monogamy. Right now you are betwixt and between and it is putting a lot of strain on what should be a happy relationship. Sep 15, 5: I agree with Surreal about setting ground rules if you decide to go forward with it.
He is not likely to stop thinking about it now, although he may not act on those thoughts without your OK. If you decide to go forward, you must find a way to make it good for both of you. Don't do it "just for him" or you could end up resenting the situation. If you are truly going to make the experience a positive thing for your relationship, then you yourself need to spend some time dwelling on the things about it that would be positive for you.
After eleven years and a few months with my ex, we decided to open our relationship. We mostly played together, but a couple of times played without the other. He ended our LTR a few months after we opened it. It did not work for us, but it may for you. Good luck and have fun! Honestly, With everything you've said in your post, your relationship looks like it's on the way to being over. Not to paint him as the "bad guy" but he doesn't sound like the kind of person who wants to be monogamous right now.
After years of being together, why open the relationship now? I'd just end the relationship now, while you're still close and at least communicating. Much better to go thru the hurt of a relationship ending than being hurt because he "found someone else" while the relationship was "open" and allowing to have "your cake and eat it too". Sep 15, 7: The tone I get from your post is that if you opened your relationship up, you don't really have any intention on exploring that freedom yourself.
If that's the case, then I can relate. I'd feel the same way. If I'm right, and you do decide to open the relationship up for his benefit, then it's just going to be nothing but pain for you. You'll be wondering where he is, what he's doing, and who he's doing constantly. That being said, there is probably going to have to be some compromise on your part in terms of spicing things up for him AND YOU in the bedroom. If he's not bored, he's not going to want to stray.
Sep 16, 5: