I was glad you told me when you did, but it wouldn't have been a deal breaker if you waited longer. At first, I felt like I had to be careful with choosing my words. I didn't want you to think that it bothered me, or have an awkward elephant in the room. I wanted to try to find a way to reassure you that I honestly didn't care, and it wasn't going to be one of those lines like 'yeah it's fine,' when it wasn't. I still wanted to meet you and get to know you better. Am I not going to like it?
We were talking for a couple of weeks before you told me anyway, so I knew I liked you a lot regardless. If sex and physical attributes are very important to you then it might be an obstacle. There are obviously other ways to go about things, like strap-ons, dildos, etc. If you're more concerned about someone's intelligence, personality, or ambition then does it really matter? Keep an open mind because you'll never know what you might miss out on.
What I see throughout these posts is a lack of kindness and empathy towards transgender people. That makes sense because there is rarely kindness and empathy when it comes to trans folks, but we need to do better. The other concerning thing is casual transphobia and cruel language that seems to be almost excused. I think if you called people on it they would be horrified to hear that they were being those things, but they are.
Transphobia and cruelty towards trans people is so ingrained in our culture that we do it and think it normal. This has to stop. If you look and them and think they are making your life difficult simply by existing and living into their truth then you need to move on. And if you are in a support group that tells you it is okay?
And the bottom bottom line? We have people wanting to kill us. We have movies making jokes about us. Everywhere we turn there are messages saying that our bodies are disgusting, that we are freaks, and that we are not worthy of love. We hear it every single day. What we need is not only to support the partners of transgender people, but also help them to do their own internal work of tearing down transphobia and transphobic thoughts and behaviors so that we can all work together to create a world that honors, respects, and celebrates transgender people and their contributions.
Thank you for writing this. I have such a hard time even imagining the possibility of dating any cis person. All of that to say it is possible and that healthy people will deal with things without making you feel badly about yourself. In solidarity with you for sure. Kris L-S This is a wonderful post! So far, our relationship is wonderful.
There needs to be more articles and stories like this. I intend to spend the rest of my life loving the man I have. So, what do I find toughest about dating a trans guy? Just being able to help him in the ways he most needs me, when it comes to his trans-related challenges, but particularly medical transitioning. Do I think any less of him? Has him being trans ever cast doubt on my ability to love him? Many people are unaware that the clitoris grows into a small penis on testosterone, and there is a surgery that works to enhance what you have naturally, called the metoidioplasty.
And there are different variations of both! We're not just trans. Being trans is just one small part of who we are. There are so many other aspects that are more important - our personalities, interests, sense of humour We have a sense of humour. I am really comfortable with myself as a guy, so I often joke about my transition with my girlfriend and friends. I'm always camping it up and am not afraid to be feminine!
I can't speak for everyone but I can tell you that being with a trans guy isn't all about walking on egg shells. We are pretty boring, really. Yeah, we aren't anything exotic We are all different in our own way. We are all, simply, men. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below.